And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
pray to the hookup gods
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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