carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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