Dual....:-)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize