I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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