I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
