Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i drank out of a bidet.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
