you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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