Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
