yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
