so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
