so let's talk penis.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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