Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The air was thick with penises
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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