omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
