so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
third nipple confirmed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize