Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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