How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I could fuck to npr.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
