Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
