Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
