My nipple is on Facebook.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
