i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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