Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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