we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
