I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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