Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
