kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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