Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize