Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
