So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My Higher Power is John Stamos
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize