I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
