Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
