Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
