Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
