its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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