So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
