Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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