i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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