I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This baby is an asshole
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
