mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize