i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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