Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i have two assholes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize