A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
