I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
