READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
