If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
40s are totally the cure
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize