Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize