I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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