The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Randomize