oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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