she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
