i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
