WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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