i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
