is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize