I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
