I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
