Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
