Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
