This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
