Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My vagina is very pro this idea
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
