hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
