it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
two words: eviction party
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
