We're like a lot better than the average bears
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
