I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
