I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
