My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He kissed a someone with a penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
