its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
