her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
