goodnight i made you a song goodbye
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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