Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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