The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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