You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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