Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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