Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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