So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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