Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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