Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize