Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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