Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
