some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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